Ten Things I’m Sorry I Said While Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner

You know who you are, and most likely I was drinking. But cooking Thanksgiving is stressful and I may have lost my cool a few times. Anyway I’m sorry again for saying these things. Happy Thanksgiving from Whiskey.

1: Were you having a seizure when you cut these onions?

2: Unless you’re another old fashioned, get the hell out of my kitchen.

3: Seriously, you are the speed bump in my day.

4: How do you not know what the fuck mincing means? Just…leave. Walk away. Faster.

5: No, I don’t want to talk about the real issue here…The real issue??? Really? You ever time a meal for fifteen goddamned people. Can you please just shut up and stir.

6: Can you cry on your own time? It’s getting in the mashed potatoes, that you’re making all lumpy. Fine, go find Grandma, I’ll just do everything.

7: Because your stuffing sucks, that’s why. Now go to the store and get more bread cubes.

8: You have the palate of a stray dog.

9: Oh I don’t know, maybe think about what the hell you’re asking and find the answer yourself. It ain’t that complicated and I am NOT grumpy.

10: Because whatever your friend brought looks like a transporter accident and I’m not serving it. I don’t care if she heard me. No I’m not that drunk. Christ on his throne, what is wrong with everyone tonight?


Happy Thanksgiving



13 thoughts on “Ten Things I’m Sorry I Said While Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner

  1. Hahahaha this is great. Personally I would never say that about onions, I detest cutting them and am so grateful for anyone cutting them for me I could care less what they look like and what was happening whilst they were cut LOL.

  2. Pingback: Another 10 Things We Regret Saying While Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner | Milk & Whiskey

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