You know who you are, and most likely I was drinking. But cooking Thanksgiving is stressful and I may have lost my cool a few times. Anyway I’m sorry again for saying these things. Happy Thanksgiving from Whiskey.
1: Were you having a seizure when you cut these onions?
2: Unless you’re another old fashioned, get the hell out of my kitchen.
3: Seriously, you are the speed bump in my day.
4: How do you not know what the fuck mincing means? Just…leave. Walk away. Faster.
5: No, I don’t want to talk about the real issue here…The real issue??? Really? You ever time a meal for fifteen goddamned people. Can you please just shut up and stir.
6: Can you cry on your own time? It’s getting in the mashed potatoes, that you’re making all lumpy. Fine, go find Grandma, I’ll just do everything.
7: Because your stuffing sucks, that’s why. Now go to the store and get more bread cubes.
8: You have the palate of a stray dog.
9: Oh I don’t know, maybe think about what the hell you’re asking and find the answer yourself. It ain’t that complicated and I am NOT grumpy.
10: Because whatever your friend brought looks like a transporter accident and I’m not serving it. I don’t care if she heard me. No I’m not that drunk. Christ on his throne, what is wrong with everyone tonight?