The Aerobie Pro is everything it promises and more. If you would like to play a game of catch across a football field, it’s the tool for you. If you’re trying to wear out a Border Collie and you have access to huge tracts of land, it won’t let you down.

But if you’re looking for a great birthday gift for a suburban/city kid, look elsewhere. Occasionally, adults over-engineer a “toy” to the point that it ceases to be even remotely functional for actual children. This is such a toy. It has no place in the hands of a child unless your roof needs more color.

I’m not saying it ain’t awesome. That thing is awesome. I’m just saying you buy one for your nephew’s eighth birthday, that shit’s gonna be a hilarious memory before you can say “You’re welcome.”

You’re welcome, also if anyone finds mine I’d like it back. It was last seen as a tiny orange speck on the horizon headed west from Redwood City in 1988. Just throw it in the direction of Seattle.