Remember MTV, Remember when it was a channel about music? Remember when MTV2 was a channel about music. Remember when VH1 was your parent’s channel about music. HOLY MONKEY BALLS.
Here is a break down of what happened at an executive level at cable TV networks:
Exec: “Hey Ralph welcome aboard here at MTV, now you went to a fancy school so we’d love to see what you can do.”
Ralph: “Thanks I really hope to make an impact, the kind of impact I had on the music industry.”
E: “That’s great! The music industry is running like a Swiss Watch. Now we’ve been doing just fine showing music videos, which is what people expect us to show but hey, let’s hear some new ideas!”
R: “Ok so we lock a bunch of retards in a house…”
E: “Let me stop you there…. I love it, being a retard myself, I can’t wait to watch someone else eat lunch.”
5 years later.
Exec: “So Ralph, you’ve done just a bang up job at MTV, and now you’ve been transferred to VH1; any big plans?”
Ralph: “Rich, coked-out, washed-up celebrities locked in a house. They might even have sex!”
E: “You are going to have a star on the boulevard my friend! All these years, we just called that rehab. Never even THOUGHT to film it.”
R: “Celebrity Rehab.”
E: “Ralph you’re like a malfunctioning slot-machine” “pull the handle and cha ching!”
2 Years Later.
Ralph: “OK Check this out, absolute nobodies with fake tits and a bad sex tape! What do they do all day?”
Exec: “They will rule the world.”
1 Year Later
Exec: “Hi, Ralph welcome to Discovery Network, can we get you a glass of tap water?”
Ralph: “I want sharks flying out of the air, pawn shops, flea markets, hoarders, and crab-fishing. Oh and a shit load of guns and motorcycles; and any show about raping the earth for gold.”
E: “Done, can we still do a nature show?”
R: “You see any music on MTV lately?”
R: “Bigfoot is nature”
E: “Here’s your keys to the private helicopter”
The executive lights a cigar with a hundred dollar bill.
R: “I’ve got it!”