How Reality Producers Ruined TV.

Remember MTV, Remember when it was a channel about music?  Remember when MTV2 was a channel about music. Remember when VH1 was your parent’s channel about music. HOLY MONKEY BALLS.

Here is a break down of what  happened at an executive level at cable TV networks:

Exec: “Hey Ralph welcome aboard here at MTV, now you went to a fancy school so we’d love to see what you can do.”

Ralph: “Thanks I really hope to make an impact, the kind of impact I had on the music industry.”

E: “That’s great! The music industry is running like a Swiss Watch. Now we’ve been doing just fine showing music videos, which is what people expect us to show but hey, let’s hear some new ideas!”

R: “Ok so we lock a bunch of retards in a house…”

E: “Let me stop you there…. I love it, being a retard myself, I can’t wait to watch someone else eat lunch.”


5 years later.

Exec: “So Ralph, you’ve done just a bang up job at MTV, and now you’ve been transferred to VH1; any big plans?”

Ralph: “Rich, coked-out, washed-up celebrities locked in a house. They might even have sex!”

E: “You are going to have a star on the boulevard my friend! All these years, we just called that rehab. Never even THOUGHT to film it.”

R: “Celebrity Rehab.”

E: “Ralph you’re like a malfunctioning slot-machine” “pull the handle and cha ching!”

2 Years Later.

Ralph: “OK Check this out, absolute nobodies with fake tits and a bad sex tape! What do they do all day?”

Exec: “They will rule the world.”

1 Year Later

Exec: “Hi, Ralph welcome to Discovery Network, can we get you a glass of tap water?”

Ralph: “I want sharks flying out of the air, pawn shops, flea markets, hoarders, and crab-fishing.  Oh and a shit load of guns and motorcycles; and any show about raping the earth for gold.”

E: “Done, can we still do a nature show?”

R: “You see any music on MTV lately?”

E: “ummm”

R: “Bigfoot is nature”

E: “Here’s your keys to the private helicopter”

The executive lights a cigar with a hundred dollar bill.

R: “I’ve got it!”

The next big hit show!

The next big hit show!

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