Pitching a Jason Statham Film.

Executive: “Hey Jason, great to meet you, can I get you any coffee or a sandwich or anything?”

Jason: “What you can get me is a new, exciting original film, mate.”

Executive: “Uhhh, well that’s why you’re here, haha… anyway”

Jason looks out the window with brooding intensity. “I’m waiting,” he says.

Executive: “You play a thief who’s a bad-ass with a weirdly normal moral compass for a professional criminal. Then on a job you get screwed over by some coworkers who lack said moral compass.  You’re basically a straight shooter in the crime world who is not to be trifled with.”

Jason: “Do they trifle with me?”

Executive: “Oh they trifle with you.”

Jason: “I like it”

Executive: “And they threaten the safety of your recent girlfriend, who by the way does not know what you actually do for a living”

Jason: “do I get revenge?”

Executive: “does the Pope shit in the Vatican”

Jason: “is there a hot sex scene?”

Executive: “the hottest”

Jason: “brilliant.”

Executive: “welcome aboard, sign here please.”

Jason: “Ok, but I get to wear a leather jacket”

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