You know that old people sex-drug commercial with the side by side bathtubs? I found its antithesis. A single hot tub shared by three families.

So we spent last weekend in Whistler, B.C. in a ridiculous condo shared with two other families. We’re talking heated floors, walking distance from everything, and a hot tub in the snow. Your heart breaks for me, I’m sure. And, yeah, if I was still in my twenties with no kids and abs that…existed, well it would’ve been a very different and much more glamorous vacation (which is to say the puke I cleaned up might’ve been my own, instead of an ornery midget’s).

But still, hot tub in the snow. Hot Tub. In The Snow.

So I imagine this hot tub in the snow situation is going to be a beautiful and relaxing thing, right? I mean, as a SaHM, it’s rare enough I can poop without a kid busting in on me, but what the hell, I’m a dreamer. We’re three couples, and that means three dads – three supposedly competent men to keep the kids sane and safe and…whatever, out of our heads for a few minutes while we stew in hot water and baste our insides with syrah. We’re nice enough ladies, all things considered, so we even let the guys go first. I’m not gonna bore you with an image of them drinking PBR in the tub, but here’s a glimpse of their view of the condo:

So then, next day, the moms try our hand at “relaxing” on our vacation. re-lact-sing? I don’t even know how to pronounce that word anymore. And this is why. This is OUR view of the condo while the men “watch” our children:

At least my kid is smiling. One of ’em, anyway. Thanks, guys, very relaxing.