Unsung Heroes of Adventure Games and Films

A cavernous underground temple is lit by oil braziers, the gargoyle snake gods eerily bathed in the orange glow. A hero, a beautiful woman with an athletic build marred only by perfect breasts repels into the room from the ceiling. She self arrests twenty feet from the floor, the laser sight from her HK MP5 sub machine gun traces the room as she makes sure she’s alone. Satisfied she drops to the deck making slightly more noise than a house cat.


The heroine wipes the sweat from her brow as she advances towards a skeletal king holding court from a cobweb covered throne. A jewel sparkles through the dust on the hilt of his ancient greatsword.

Suddenly movement in the shadow! She rolls left as the muzzle flash from her gun lights up the room. BRAAAAAP the German gun roars. The tinkling sound of empty shells echoes in the cavernous room as she ejects a magazine and slams a fresh one in.
“Don’t shoot, please… Don’t shoot.”  A small man with grey hair in blue coveralls yells from behind a column freshly pock marked with 9mm rounds.

Her gun sights hunt frantically for a clear angle. Landing on a mop being waved like a white flag.

“Please don’t shoot, I wasn’t expecting anyone this early” the man shouts

“Oh you’ll find I’m full of surprises” she quips. “Tell your boss Scorpiono when you see him in hell”

“You don’t understand I’m not one of his men” he pleads

“Ah ha, your another treasure hunter thinking you’ll get the best of me”

“Look lady I’m just from maintenance.” The man nervously emerges pushing a hand cart with various bottles and cleaning supplies. There is also a small wire cage with a couple of rabbits inside.

“What’s with the rabbits?” She ask
“You don’t think those snakes and crocodiles  you narrowly avoided need to eat?” He says rolling his eyes. “You really believe these torches never burn out or the oil lamps have been burning for hundreds of years, I guess it’s all just a magical world… Christ lady.”  He walks off shaking his head.


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