The downside of volunteering in the classroom is knowing way too much about your kids.

She takes after her father, that one.

The Madness brought home an adorable little poster in the shape of an owl with an “owl about me” pun and lots of little fun facts about herself. “I’m going to keep this forever!” I thought and then immediately put it somewhere for my husband to find and recycle so I can yell at him later and avoid mom guilt.

On her “owl about me” paper she proclaimed her desire to be a vet when she grows up.

That’s cute, I thought…but weird. She doesn’t actually seem to like animals that much and she’s never shown the remotest interest in any other vet related activities.

Today, I got the full story from another in class volunteer.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” was the question on the table.

Madness considered. “I dunno. I don’t really want to do anything.”

“Sooo, what…you just want to be a lady of leisure?”

Madness thought about that and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds nice. I can’t spell that though, so I’m just gonna write vet. My aunt’s a vet…or maybe she’s just a doctor. Anyway, I can spell vet.”

She draws a half-assed selfie without any animals and writes VAT across the top.

Close enough, sugar plum. Close enough.