Yesterday, MILK & Whiskey took their collective entourages of children and spouses to California Adventure at Disneyland for some wallet draining fun. The kids were having a great time at Cars Land and driving little tiny bumper cars that look like ticks. All was going swimmingly and emotional scar-free when we decided to go check out the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.

The original plan, pitched by me (Whiskey), was for the adults to take shifts watching the kids so that they could ride the Tower of Terror, which is awesome. MILK and Dr. Wife apparently had other plans for our children’s emotional well being. As we walked up to the ride, Dr. Wife noticed that the two big kids, and by big I mean 4 and 5 years old, met the height requirement.

“Hey the kids can go!” she said.

I was stunned. “Madness and Dapper want to go on that ride???”

“Is it really scary?” MILK asked, having never been on it and so not fully comprehending the horror Disney Imagineers could whip up.

Dr. Wife shrugged. “It’s like…Snow White ride scary.”

The Madness was ready. “More rides! Yayyy!” Dapper was more reluctant but figured going with mom was always the safest bet.

“Ummm…okay, then. Have fun?” I said, and sat down with The Engineer to watch the toddlers. I was a little confused because, as a dad, it’s supposed to be my job to make all the bad parenting decisions. But hey, equal opportunity.

The two innocent children were led by their tiny hands into a ghostly, cobweb drenched hotel lobby. If you’ve never been a guest in the Tower of Terror, it’s a ride where, after going through a scary introduction and Twilight Zone back story you get into a freight elevator.

The freight elevator (which is possessed), after a few lightning strikes and groaning phantoms in a hallway, goes suddenly bananas. You are shot up and down in the dark for a little casual disorientation and then, suddenly, the elevator doors open and you realize you’re almost 200 feet up in the air. Then you free fall in an elevator shaft surrounded by the screams of your fellow passengers and, in this instance, the panicked sobs of a five year old girl. Fun for all, especially small children! It also didn’t help that the teenagers sitting behind them apparently started screaming “we’re all going to die”

Here is a wrap up interview with the kids once they had stopped freaking out. Any Imagineers who read us are welcome to the free suggestions. Or just “build a unicorn ride”.