1. “Unless you are wearing heavy gloves, NEVER put your fingers into the mouth or gill chamber of a lingcod. The safest way to pick up a lingcod is to place the thumb and first finger of one hand in the eye sockets and grab the tail with the other hand.” (Ok I’m picking up what you’re laying down Fish and Game,… give that fish the old “Moe Howard” in the eye and grab its ass.)
2. “Sometimes a number of coiled up worms are found in the flesh. These are intermediate stages of spine headed worms, the adult of which are harmful to sharks, pelicans and other fish predators. The worms are harmless to humans when the fish is thoroughly cooked.” (Mmmmm… Sadly I’ve actually experienced this.)
3. “Smelt, little smelt, grunion, lease smelt. During spawning activities, grunion may make a faint squeaking noise.” (me, too.)
4. “The head is elongate and there is a small fleshy projection, a barbel, on the lower jaw.” (hehe. fleshy projection…)
5. “California lizardfish can be caught on a wide variety of cut baits fished on the bottom.” (Is there a fishlizard?)
6. “It has a row of “slime” glands on both sides of its body. When agitated, these glands produce a protein-based mucous that when combined with water makes a thick, viscous jelly-like slime. This slime serves as a defense mechanism that can be sloughed off by tying its body into a knot, and also by “sneezing” to clear the slime from its sinus cavities.” (I don’t know why they don’t sell these at pet shops.)
7. “Rocks, twigs and other odd things have been found in their stomachs and a white sturgeon caught in the Snake River had eaten half a bushel of onions that it had found floating in the river.” (hey honey, are you gonna cook this bushel of onions? Nah, just chuck it in the river!)
8. “These precocious males are called jacks, chubs or grilse.” (These are frat pledge nicknames)
9. “Consumption of Cabezon roe has produced near fatal results in humans.” (Same thing happened with the cocktail sauce my late grandmother would serve at Christmas Eve.)
10. “They are scrappy and are good eating.” (You forgot adorable)
I’m sorry dear readers, it was late and I was tired.
It is amazing the things you can find in bureau produced documents. Very entertaining.
OMG I misspelled squeak in the cartoon.
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