MILK and I were born five days (and 2 years) apart, in the dead of winter. This is fine now, but when we were kids, it definitely affected our birthday party options. Or should have. Since she’s the little sister, MILK got dragged along on whatever terrible plan I pushed through each year for our double birthday.

For a few years there, it was just a group of friends in the backyard with balloons and a cake that was half-cowboy, half- ballerina. Then mom switched us to the really nice day care and I became best friends with a kid named Ben. Ben had a summer birthday and rich, still-married parents, so his birthday parties were mind-blowing. It usually involved his parents taking everybody to Great America Amusement Park or Marine World Africa USA. The party favors one year were full sized Transformers. In our house, Optimus Prime would be the big gift for the lucky…