Pinterest hates me and wants me to fail. I don’t know what we did to piss it off – probably something you said about Martha Stewart – but the site seems specifically designed to make a certain group of moms feel terrible about themselves. You know, moms who can’t bake ombre cakes or build sensory tubs or lose ALL the pounds doing hot yoga while cleaning the baseboards of their shabby chic houses.

Still, I can’t help myself. I’m like the rat who knows the red button will give it a shock but still can’t stop pressing the damn button. I have pages of craftiness Pins that I will never, ever do. I even bought Mod Podge. I don’t know where it is, currently, but I definitely bought a tub. I’m pretty sure Mod Podge owns Pinterest. Or they’re all huffing the stuff over there at the “Circle P” headquarters.

I suck at craft. This is how I craft:

Crafting is FUN!

And now, thanks to those easy to follow instructions, you can too! Craft, I mean. You probably can’t find a bottle of Mo’s Whiskey right now, but the beautiful thing about a MILK & Whiskey bad craft, is that you don’t have to be perfect to get it right.

Be sure you Pin this NOW so you remember it later, when you’re planning your wedding and you have to find just the right giveaway that says “thoughtful and useful and eco-friendly,” and then you remember that people are supposed to give YOU presents not the other way and, honestly, shouldn’t you be saving your money – you’re going to start popping out babies pretty soon and those little bastards cost a fortune over the course of their beautiful, sensory tub filled lives.

Also – your baseboards look like hell.

Namaste.