I’m not a neat person, and I’m a straight-up terrible housekeeper. It’s probably quite sad watching me try to clean (and not just because watching someone try to clean would be a depressing way to spend your day).
How I clean: I pick up something and think to myself, “this goes in the garbage!” and so I start walking to the garbage, holding the tissue or gum wrapper or bottle cap. But along the way, I’ll see an abandoned sock. “This goes in the laundry!” I think, and pick it up and start walking in THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. Away from the garbage can. Still clutching my tissue/gum-wrapper/bottle-cap in my other hand. And that’s when I’ll see the new toothpaste I bought three days before and left on the dining room table for some reason. “This goes in the bathroom!” This can go on all day.
It’s a mental disorder. I would medicate it if I could (is bourbon still considered medicine?). Instead, it takes me all day to clean a disaster (weeks in the making) that could have been cleaned by a more efficient person in minutes. 5 minutes a day, probably, according to something I disregarded on Pinterest (Do you know the most efficient way to dust a baseboard? DO YOU!?).
Right now, I just got the baby down for a nap, surveyed the house, and immediately gave up. I’ll just do some laundry and then leave a broom out and move the garbage can into the dining room – then it’ll look like I tried to clean and my dear husband will pity me when he gets home and make me a drink.
That’s my cleaning tip for the truly dysfunctional, by the way. Make it look like you tried.
Good thing I can cook, or I’d totally get fired from this SaHM gig.